Light Appears

I’m an avid hunter and each fall I spend time preying on the elusive Michigan whitetail. In my younger days, I judged the success of my hunt by the venison I put in my freezer. But more recently, I’m realizing that hunting gives me much more than venison. It gives me a place to be alone, silent, and still. It gives me a greater appreciation for God’s creation and the change of seasons I get to witness with all my senses. So, when that big buck strolls by, it’s like ice cream on a wonderful piece of cake. I get to enjoy both.

But, there’s an aspect of hunting I really don’t like. It’s something no good hunter can avoid. It’s darkness. It’s common knowledge among hunters that deer feed and move, generally, just after dawn and just before dusk. So, to increase your chances of intersecting a deer traveling to or from a feeding area in the morning, you need to be in your stand before dawn. And the guys I hunt with… well, they like to be in their stands an hour before light. Uggh! That means a 5 a.m. wake up call on a Saturday morning. That means a dark, sleepy drive from my house to my friend’s hunting ground. That means a dark walk to the stand and a dark climb up the tree, all while fumbling with a small flashlight. That means a long hour of sitting in a dark tree during the coldest time of the day. I hate that part of hunting. Time drags. It’s the longest hour of the day.

So, why do I go through something I hate so much? Why endure the discomfort and inconvenience on a Saturday morning when I could be enjoying a deep sleep in a warm bed? It’s because I know the light will gradually come. The sun will rise and the things I love so much about hunting will be fully experienced. It’s amazing what light does. It simply lets me see. Instead of straining to see 10 feet in front of me, I can see the entire forest in full color. Light also awakens the forest. Birds begin to appear and sing and other animals begin their daily pursuit of food. And… the hunt begins.

This past year, I worked through a book called The Story with a couple small groups I lead. Using mostly Scripture it tells, in chronological order, the story of God in about 400 pages. A few weeks ago, my men’s group finished the Old Testament portion of the book and as we reviewed the big picture of the OT, many of us commented on how dark that time period seemed to be. God created humans to live in harmony and relationship with him but, time and time again, they chose sin and rebellion instead of an obedient, blessed relationship with God. The OT seems to be filled with cold, dark hours where God’s people struggled to see clearly. Yes, there were torch bearers like Abraham, Moses, David, and Daniel who carried light in darkness; yet as we read the OT we all longed for Light to appear. Mankind needed someone to wake up the world and bring life to a dead and dark world.

Then the Light appeared! Read John’s words, the words that open his Gospel account of the life of Jesus.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1.1-4

Light and Life came just as predicted. Isaiah, a prophet who lived in a dark period of time almost 700 years before Jesus, had a vision of the coming Light. In a time where the nation of Israel was in peril because of their rebellion against God, Isaiah envisioned the Light coming over the horizon.

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned... For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9.2,6

Christmas is upon us. It’s time to celebrate the Wonderful, Mighty, Everlasting Light! Our dark hours have hope!

Call Me "Grinch"

Before my small group pastor days, I worked for a little company called United Parcel Service. I was a delivery driver with the brown truck and the brown uniform. Now, UPS is a wonderful company and I’m very grateful for the 16 years I had employment there. But, there was a certain time of year that I dreaded. It was Christmas. From Thanksgiving until the day before Christmas, UPS was a tough place to work because certain difficult elements collided all at once, making a perfect storm of misery for me. First, the work load jumped dramatically because of holiday shopping. Second, the time changed, making daylight hours shorter. And third, snow began to fall. Lots of packages and long, cold, snowy, dark days combined for enormous pressure. My cynicism grew every December and to be totally honest, I grew to hate Christmas.

On one of those cold, dark evenings, my cynicism busted open. It had been a long day. It had snowed all day and I was way behind. I knew I was going to be working deep into the evening. The streets were dark and house numbers were hard to read. My feet were cold and wet and my soul was dark. I approached a house with a package in hand. I placed it on the dry porch, rang the door bell and began to return to my truck, all the while smelling someone’s supper cooking. All I could think about was why I wasn’t home enjoying a warm dinner with my wife and kids. Stepping off the porch, a bright object caught the corner of my eye. It a Santa Claus lawn ornament—you know, the Santa with a big grin, waving at all the passersby. It was as if Santa were laughing at me that night and I realized at that moment—that stupid Santa represented my misery. Then, in a weak moment, something in me caused me to act on my distain. I cuffed Santa. Yeah, I hit him. The back of my hand smacked Santa so hard that he toppled face first into the snow. For a half second, I felt bad and almost went to pick him up… but I didn’t. I left his stupid grin, face down in the cold snow.

For years, I wrestled with the whole concept of Christmas. What’s the point? Why celebrate the birth of Jesus? It just gets twisted and out of hand anyway. And, other than Easter, we don’t celebrate other things that Jesus did. We don’t have Transfiguration parties. We don’t rejoice on the day that Jesus was baptized. We don’t have Miracle Mondays. Why Christmas? Why all the big commotion for his birth?

Oh, I knew all the right answers, but each year I had to find a time to slow myself down and let the real significance of Christmas resonate deeply in my soul. If I didn’t, I’d get caught up in the trappings and cynicism of the season. For many years, a chapter from Max Lucado’s book, God Came Near helped me. Each time I read it, I was reminded of the greatest thing that God ever did for human beings—he became man. God incarnate. God in human skin. God dwelling with us, and dying for us. As I type some words from this chapter, tears still flow from my eyes as I reflect on how God came near for me. I hope they encourage you as well.

It all happened in a moment, a most remarkable moment. As moments go, that one appeared no different than any other... It was one of the countless moments that have marked time since eternity became measurable.

But in reality, that particular moment was like none other. For through that segment of time a spectacular thing occurred. God became a man. While the creatures of earth walked unaware, Divinity arrived. Heaven opened herself and placed her most precious one in a human womb.

The Omnipotent, in one instant, made himself breakable. He who had been spirit became pierceable. He who was larger than the universe became an embryo. And he who sustains the world with a word chose to be dependent upon the nourishment of a young girl.

God as a fetus. Holiness sleeping in a womb. The creator of life being created… God had come near.

It all happened in a moment. In one moment…a most remarkable moment. The Word became flesh.

There will be another. The world will see another instantaneous transformation. You see, in becoming man, God made it possible for man to see God. When Jesus went home he left the back door open. As a result, “we will all be changed—in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye.”

The first moment of transformation went unnoticed by the world. But you can bet your sweet September that the second one won’t. The next time you use the phrase “just a moment,” …remember that’s all the time it will take to change this world.

Excerpts from “Just a Moment” by Max Lucado, 1987 (Multnomah Press) To read the entire chapter online, go to http://www.maxlucado.com/articles/topical/it_began_in_a_manger .

This week’s author: Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

Admirer or Follower

Did you see the Olympics this summer? Michael Phelps was amazing, wasn’t he? Eight gold medals. Question—How many would say you are an admirer of Michael Phelps? (hands raise) Me too. Here’s the deal. Somewhere out there, there’s a kid that when he watched Michael Phelps his heart started pounding, his mind started racing. He said to himself, “What Michael Phelps did, I could do. The way he swam, I could swim. Where he stood on the podium, I could stand.”

Right now, that kid is going to the pool every day. He’s reading articles. He’s watching videos. He’s looking for a coach. He actually wants to become like Michael Phelps. He wants to do want Michael Phelps did. He’s not just an admirer, he’s a follower. Now, I applaud what Michael Phelps did but it will not change my life. I have not been in a pool since the Olympics. I’m an admirer, not a follower. There’s a big difference. An admirer is impressed. A follower is devoted. An admirer applauds. A follower surrenders. An admirer approves. A follower obeys. (John Ortberg, 2008)

I’ve noticed that a new word has popped up that has replaced the word “Christian.” It’s “Jesus-follower.” I like that word. It says a lot about the intentions of someone’s faith in Jesus. What they are saying is that they desire to follow Jesus. That’s great. What’s interesting is that I don’t think I ever heard anyone describe themselves as a Jesus-admirer. But, I wonder if that’s a better description for some people who claim to be a follower of Jesus.

When Jesus walked the earth, three types of people surrounded him: detractors, admirers, and followers. The detractors were typified by the Pharisees. They rejected Jesus’ claims that he was the Messiah, the Son of God. Others became followers. The Twelve gave up everything to follow him. Peter and Andrew dropped their fishing careers to follow Jesus. Levi left his tax collecting business to become a follower. They were devoted, they surrendered, and they obeyed. However, there’s was a middle group that I think Ortberg would call “admirers.” They came to hear his talks, and gathered to see if he would heal the sick. They surrounded Jesus to see if he’d become a military messiah to free them from Roman oppression. But when Jesus asked them to be like him and do what he taught, many turned back and returned home. They seemed impressed, they even applauded Jesus, and some even approved; but admiring Jesus didn’t really change their life.

I wonder… what is the biggest category of people that fills our churches today? As I read Ephesians, I’m sure Paul saw the same issues in the churches he ministered to. I think he was passionate about seeing people move from being a religious admirer to a passionate follower. As we close our time in Ephesians, let’s look at a few phrases from Ephesians 4 and 5 that tell us what it means to be an authentic follower of Jesus.

• I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
• …put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
• …speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
• Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
• (You) must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
• (Speak) only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
• Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
•Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

So, what does your life say about you? Are you an admirer or a follower? Read the entire book of Ephesians again this week and see it through the lens of being a follower of God.

This week's author- Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

The Heart that Forgives

Carl is a distinguished, gentle man in his 70s who has spent over 30 years in the counseling ministry. Several years ago, I had a chance to hear his story. I’m always interested in hearing a seasoned individual reflect on his life and ministry. You just know there will be some gold nuggets of wisdom from a guy like Carl. Sure enough, his talk was loaded with more nuggets than I can recall, but a couple things stood out that I’ve mused on many times over the past few years.

Carl said (my paraphrase based on memory), “Over the past 30 years, I figure I’ve had over 30,000 counseling appointments with thousands of different people and I’ve come to realize that the vast majority of the people that I’ve worked with all have the same root issues—the inability or unwillingness to forgive someone who has hurt them, or the inability to receive forgiveness when they are the offender. The lack of forgiveness in human relationships is the biggest problem I see. Most of my time has been spent helping people to forgive others or to help them find forgiveness.” I’m not sure I heard anything else Carl said. That comment set me back for few minutes. Really, Carl? With all the mental and emotional disorders out there? With all the bad things that can happen in a person’s life? Forgiveness is the key to spiritual and emotional health? Carl would say, “Absolutely!”

Carl went on to describe a dangerous continuum that people get trapped in—anger, bitterness, hatred, and apathy. Let’s say that something has happened in a relationship that has caused you to feel disappointed or hurt by someone’s actions. Anger can be the first emotion to surface. “I can’t believe she did that. That ticks me off.” Your anger builds and goes unchecked, and as a result it turns to bitterness. “You know, this isn’t the first time she’s hurt me, and it won’t be the last. That’s the way she is!” Hatred can quickly follow bitterness as the emotions fester downward toward vengeance. “I can’t stand her and the first chance I get, I’ll get her back. She’ll pay for the pain she’s caused.” The end of the continuum is apathy when a person feels nothing for the other person. “I’m done with her!” Unfortunately, this continuum is the natural way of things within the human heart. It’s easy for us to slide down that slippery hill.

So, what stops that slide? Forgiveness. Sure, there are other important things that need to happen such as honest conversations and confrontations, as well as remorse and repentance from the offender. But at the end of the day—no matter the outcome of the confrontation, no matter if the offender expresses remorse—forgiveness must happen for us to live in peace. A forgiving heart frees us from the downward slope of anger, bitterness, hatred, and apathy. An unforgiving heart shackles us to destructive emotions that result in a bad outcome. I think the Apostle Paul would agree with Carl’s synopsis of the human heart.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4.31-32

It all sounds so easy, doesn’t it? Throw off all your anger, bitterness, and fighting and replace it with kindness and forgiveness. Easily said… but harder to do, we all know. What encourages me about this verse is the reminder of how much Jesus has forgiven me… how much he’s forgiven you. Paul seems to be saying, “You can forgive the people who have hurt and disappointed you because I have forgiven all the hurt and disappointment your sins have caused me.” Maybe Carl is right. It all does come down to forgiveness. Remember, you are forgiven to become a forgiver.

This week's author- Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

I've Gotta Big Mouth

Several years ago, I found myself in a circle of guys at a social gathering. The jokes were flying and laughs were rolling as we bantered with each other. Then, someone asked, “So, what were you like in high school?” That seemed like a fun question to surface some interesting stories. When it was my turn, I talked about the sports I played, my cool car and the pranks my friends and I would pull. My goal in high school was to have fun and to get as many laughs as possible. My short description seemed to get respectful smiles from the guys.

However, there was one guy in the group that didn’t seem to like the question. He was noticeably uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation and he worked hard to avoid answering the question. But finally, he slyly chimed in, “You know, I was kind of a geek. I was small for my age and I didn’t like sports. So I just focused on my school work.” I could tell the he really didn’t like talking about his high school days but something in me didn’t want to let him off the hook. Any ounce of sensitivity or compassion eluded me at that moment. This was prime for a one-line remark that would be remembered throughout the annals of guy banter for all-time. So I said with a gentle laugh in my voice and an evil gleam in my eye, “Dude, guys like me used to stuff guys like you into lockers.” Now, I never did that to anyone in high school as I was a prankster not a bully. But, the one-liner worked. I got some laughs and even a high-five. Even the guy I picked on seemed to enjoy my brilliance in guy humor.

Our huddle got interrupted and we all dispersed into the greater group of people in the room. But that conversation wasn’t over. During a quiet moment, that particular guy pulled me aside and very respectfully, but with strength and boldness said this to me, “Phil, remember what you said about guys like you stuffing guys like me into lockers? Well, that actually happened to me in high school. Stuff like that happened to me a lot. You know, it wasn’t funny then and it’s not funny now.” You know the feeling you get when you cause traffic accident? That’s what I felt at that moment. I had caused a relational accident but didn’t know if it was a fender bender or if the Jaws of Life would be needed to save our friendship. My friend was very gracious with me as I extended a sincere apology.

I wish that were the only story I could tell about how my friendly banter and teasing got out of hand and caused damaged. It seems this is an ugly pattern in my life that I need to continue to monitor daily in my life. So, when I read the verses like this, I hear a reminder from God that I need to clean this ugliness out of my speech.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4.29

Think about these definitions of unwholesome; rotten, putrid, worn out, poor quality, bad, unfit for use, worthless. Paul says to strip these off like a smelly shirt. He says to delete all forms of useless, vial, and harmful speech patterns. But what I love so much about Paul is that he gives us a positive replacement. He gives us a positive standard to measure our words against. The only words that should pass through our lips should be those that help, build up and encourage someone else.

What if we were to get in the habit of asking ourselves one of these simple questions before we speak? Will my words give to that person or take from that person? Will what I’m about to say be helpful to those who hear? If you can’t answer yes, then perhaps silence is your best choice.

This week's author- Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

Integrity With A Cost

When it comes to professional golfers, Brian Davis isn't the best-known name in the game. He’s not even in the top one hundred. But earlier this summer, he had a huge chance to move up in the PGA rankings. Davis found himself tied for the lead and in a sudden death playoff with Jim Furyk at the Verizon Heritage Open. This was his first and best shot at winning a PGA Tour tournament. The first place prize was over $1 million.

Davis's approach shot on the first hole of the playoff missed the green and rested in the rough. When he tried to punch the ball up onto the green, his club grazed a stray weed on his backswing. So what? Well, there’s this rule: Hitting any material around your ball during your backswing constitutes a violation of the rule against moving loose impediments, and is an immediate two-stroke penalty. If the penalty is called, he loses the playoff.

Silly rule? Maybe. But, that’s the nature of golf and everyone who plays professionally knows that. Davis knew the rule. He saw the weed his ball rested on move on his backswing. So, he called the violation on himself. Immediately after the shot, Davis called over a rules official, who conferred with television replays and confirmed the movement—movement which was only visible on slow-motion. As soon as the replays confirmed the violation, Davis conceded the victory to Furyk.

Every golfer’s dream is to win. So, imagine having the fulfillment of your life's dream within your grasp and you make a small mistake. If you say something, your dream is gone—at least for that day. If you don't say anything, you’ll probably get away with it. Would you own up to the mistake, or would you keep quiet and hope for the best? For Brian Davis the answer was clear. He knew that in golf, honesty is more important than victory.

In Ephesians 4, Paul tells the believers to put off the old and put on the new—like taking off an old, stinky shirt and putting on a new, clean one. I love this metaphor because Paul not only tells us to discard the bad, but he gives us a replacement of something good. Check this one out.

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. Ephesians 4.25

Put off falsehood. Discard lies. Throw out dishonest gain. Trash exaggerations. Dispose of any misrepresentations. Instead… put on truth. Tell the whole truth. Report things accurately. Present yourself honestly. Value integrity.

The reason Paul gives us for living lives of honesty is that we are members of the body, the Body of Christ. We represent him. We represent each other. This is part of our identity as adopted, redeemed, and sealed children of God. Because we belong, we behave in a distinct way.

Is there any dishonesty, half-truths, white lies, exaggerations, or misrepresentations that you need to throw away or make amends for? As you examine your life this week, think about what Brian Davis valued most. Speaking the truth was more valuable than personal gain. Character was worth more than victory. Acts of integrity put a smile on God’s face and give the Body of Christ credibility.

This week's author- Phil Niekerk, small groups pastor

Lessons From Bees

Tuesday night at 11 p.m. is a strange time to be running my hand up and down our living room wall, but that’s what I was doing on that August night. I was convinced I had found the source of a strange sound that had been haunting us for at least a month. There had been this purring sound in our living room (we don’t have cats)that we couldn’t figure out. It was a sound that was most evident later in the evening and it had gotten louder over time.

That night, my curiosity got the best of me. My suspicions told me it was a bee hive in the wall or attic. But that crazy sound got me so curious that I felt I needed to mess with it. Next to me was a curtain rod that I was supposed to have installed in our bathroom. Ignorantly, I decided to just gently tap the drywall near the sound hoping to see if the sound would change. To my shock, my gentle tap sent that rod right through the drywall. Apparently, bee hives do incredible damage to drywall and the only thing between me and the bee hive was a thin piece of paper and a layer of paint. The ceiling was quickly invaded by hundreds of yellow jackets. My wife rushed into another room as I hurried into the garage to retrieve a can of wasp spray.

Over the next few minutes, I soaked the ceiling with two cans of wasp spray, working my way to the four inch hole I had created with my curtain rod. Emptying the final can into the hive in the attic, I stepped back to survey the situation. Minutes before, I was contemplating a restful night in bed. Now I had poison dripping from the ceiling and walls, yellow jacket carcasses littering my floor and furniture, a gaping hole in the ceiling, and thousands of angry bees still in the attic trying to make their way through a poison-soaked hole. A small board and four screws secured the hole for the evening; and over the next hour, soap, a couple rolls of paper towels, and a broom took care of the mess.

Days later, I began to muse on some life lessons these bees had taught me. God began to remind me that our culture has an invasion plan for my life and home. Like bees, certain things in our culture invade gradually but with persistence. They slowly erode our protection until there’s very little between us and a dangerous and damaging situation. Then we find ourselves in a mess, asking how this all happened. But inside, we know we’ve allowed it to grow by ignoring it or through toying with and poking at it.

When Paul wrote to the believers in the churches in the Ephesus region, he fully knew the cultural dangers that would continue to invade the lives of the Greek believers. Ephesus was a city saturated with sexuality that was out of control. It was culture that offered a lifestyle of anything and everything— but never truly satisfied—leaving people lusting for more. This was the culture many of these new believers had come from. This was the culture that Paul was asking them to separate from.

Paul told the Ephesians to “put off the old” and “put on the new.” The “old” promises danger and damage. The “new” promises life and satisfaction. As you examine the world around you, where are you being invaded? What dangers are creeping on the other side of the wall, eroding your protection? What do you need to “put off”? Greed? The misuse of sex? Gossip? Lying? Bitterness? And, what can you “put on”? Contentment? Godly sexual desires? Kindness? Truth? Forgiveness? The dangers around us are real, but God always offers a way out— a way to safety and satisfaction.

This week's author- Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

Building the Body

Over the past few years, I have really enjoyed working out with some friends of mine. We are middle aged guys not trying to regain our athletic youth, but just hoping to slow the natural aging process. A couple times a week, we’ll lift weights in my buddy’s basement, do pushups and ab crunches. It all takes an hour or so each time and we enjoy each other’s company as we exercise. In between weight lifting days, we do some running on our own. A couple of the guys routinely train for the 15 mile River Bank Run but I’m happy to make it through a 5K or two each year.

Exercising the body really helps. It’s helped me get stronger, healthier, and keep my weight under control. But recently, I’ve had to shut it all down. I’m not running and I told the guys I would not be lifting for a few weeks. Why? I have two parts on my body that are refusing to do their job—my middle toe and a little tendon in my elbow. Both are inflamed and scream when I use them to run or lift. My mind, my legs, my shoulders, my back all want to run and lift but those two little things are holding everything back. You may be asking, “How did you hurt your elbow and toe?” The answer—I have no idea. Back in high school, I always had a great story to tell about an injury. Now, at the age of 45, I just seem to wake up injured, swollen, and needing Motrin.

It’s no wonder why Paul compares the church to a human body. In three of his New Testament letters (Romans, 1 Corinthians, and Ephesians), Paul uses the body as an object lesson to teach about the church. He actually calls the church the Body of Christ. In order for the human body to thrive in athletics or in work, all the parts need to function in harmony. In order to do a simple pushup, the brain, the eyes, the shoulders, the feet, the back, the hands, the chest, and the elbows need to work together. One hurting part, like a tendon in the elbow, can slow it all down. But when all the parts are healthy and working in harmony, the whole body gets stronger and more effective as it works out.

Mark is a good friend of mine who I’ve enjoyed watching grow spiritually over the years. I’ve seen Mark grow in a myriad of ways through Bible study, small group discussion, and by walking through difficult circumstances. But, I’ve noticed when Mark serves as a part of the Body of Christ, he grows fast and strong. And when he serves with others in the Body of Christ, it’s a wonderful, effective endeavor. Mark serves every Saturday night as a small group leader for seven-year-old boys in Discovery Village. He also serves in our mentoring ministry helping people one-on-one get through something difficult or get to the next step of their spiritual growth. I’ve watched Mark come alive as he does his job in the Body; and I’ve watched other people come alive as a result.

So, what’s your role? What’s your function? What part of the Body are you? Do you know? Are you functioning in harmony with others? Get busy being part of the Body of Christ and watch God come alive in you and watch others around you grow.

This week's author- Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

The Struggle of Unity

Part of my job at Ada Bible Church is to help people find their place in a healthy, life giving small group. We believe small groups are places where people can find community, friendship, and spiritual growth. But from time to time, I run into people who are struggling to find their place. I believe they are good hearted people who really want to make solid connections with others, but they don’t ever seem to have their expectations met. I often wonder if they’re trying to force their small group through too narrow of an experience. Here are some things I’ve heard over the years.

“We really want to be in a group with people whose kids are our kid’s age.”

“I’m a single woman but please don’t put me in a group with married people or in a group with just women.”

“I want to be in a small group with people who all have sailboats.”
“I want to be in a small group with young businessmen.”

“My schedule is packed, so I need to be in a group that can meet on Monday evenings after 9 p.m.”

“I want to be in a group with people who attend the venue I attend, so we can see each other at church. Oh… can they be in our stage of life and live in our neighborhood too?”

Mind you, these are not bad requests and we often work hard to accommodate them. We naturally self-sift to people with whom we have things in common. We like to be with people like us. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, what if God wants more for our community experience? What if God wants us to make deep and meaningful connections with people who are very different from us? What if an important part of our spiritual formation is finding unity and oneness with people we would not naturally drift toward? What if the bond we have with each other is really not found in our age, our gender, our interests, our schedule, our kids, our marital status, or our neighborhood?

Think about how Jesus formed his small group. These dudes were very diverse. Matthew was a former tax collector from Rome. Simon was a Zealot who probably wanted Rome eradicated through military revolt. Think these two guys wanted to go bowling together? Thomas had a tendency to question and doubt. Peter was confident, impetuous, and had a big mouth. Think these two guys had any opportunities to irritate each other? John was a loyal friend to Jesus. Judas was a… “Judas.” Ever wonder if John was sniffing out the traitor in the group? Jesus chose a diverse group of flawed guys to be his disciples. What was their bond? What brought them unity? It was their commitment to follow Jesus.

Paul said to the churches in the Ephesus region, “Make every effort to keep the bond of peace.” I think that statement infers that they would have plenty of opportunities for the opposite—conflict and relational distance. Paul also knew that two very diverse groups were coming together to form the church. One group was raised in the Jewish tradition. They were disciplined, rules oriented, traditional, bent toward being critical. The other group was raised in the Greek tradition. They were liberal, worshipped multiple gods, highly sensual, free spirited. The bond between these two groups was their pursuit of a relationship with their Savior, Jesus Christ.

As you pursue community at Ada Bible Church, realize that hanging out with people who are like you is okay. But God may be calling you toward much more, as he did with his disciples and the Ephesian church. Break out of the self-sift drift. Look around your small group this week and celebrate the diversity. Then, celebrate the one thing you all have in common. The pursuit of Jesus. Our Savior, wants his followers to be one.

This week's author- Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

Eager For Your Decrees

Why is it so hard to read the Bible? Why is it that I can pick it up at times and read a few paragraphs and it is literally dripping with relevance and practicalities, and at other times, it may as well be written in German? And why is it that I am drawn into it one day, and the next day I lay it down and don’t think about it again for days or even weeks?

About seven years ago, I began a journey I will never forget. I began to ask God to take me to a deeper place with him. I was bored stiff with my brand of Christianity. But, I had to do my Christian “stuff,” like read the Bible, pray, serve in the church, and, and, and…. What happened next was not what I asked for, what I wanted, or what I ever expected. God began to peel away everything that I was clinging to that wasn’t him. All the “security” I had financially, all the abilities and opportunities I had in business, all the pride I had placed in my own skills…gone. I heard a friend say it this way: “When we ask God to transform (remodel) us, we’re thinking a new coat of paint and some fresh carpet, and He’s pulling into our lives with a wrecking ball and a bulldozer.” He doesn’t even want the soil on which are lives are built to remain. He wants to be our foundation, the bedrock upon which we stand.

Now I’d like to say that I humbly accepted my plight. I can’t. I raged against God. I would grab my Bible and head for the woods to wrestle with him. I would read his promises—strike that—I would scream his promises at him, and dare him to reconcile his promises with my reality. I had a two year tantrum— month after month of going to the woods to have it out with God. The funny thing was, every time I left the woods, I was quiet. Things weren’t fixed, but I was still. I was learning about his peace.

In this time, I discovered something new in Psalm 119. The Psalmist, all throughout the passage, was asking God to give him desire, understanding, knowledge of his Word, his Law, his Precepts. I thought, “I can do that.” So I began to pray to God using Psalm 119.36-37. This became the outline of my prayers that I still often use today to keep me focused. It sounded a lot like this.

Give me an eagerness for your decrees. Do not inflict me with a love for money! Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word.

God, give me a desire for you. I really want to love your Word, but I confess I don’t. Help me to want to be in your Scriptures, not because I’m supposed to be, but because I love you, and I can’t wait to see what you have to say to me today. Please don’t let a love for money become the driving force behind my actions. Forgive me for seeing you only as a provider of things rather than a person who wants intimacy with me. Oh God, please turn my attention away from things that are worthless to you. I have become fixated on many things that you are not pleased with. Please draw my passion to the things that you are passionate about. Make your desires mine.

Through this, I’ve learned that it isn’t about how much we can know about the Bible that helps us in this life; it’s about how well we know the author. He is the gift. My prayer for you as you ask God for the passion to love his Word is that you will be caught by surprise by your desire for him, that it will consume you and turn you into the Spirit-filled person you were meant to be. Enjoy him.

This week’s author—Doug Bishop, small group area director

Good To Be Loved

It doesn’t matter where I’ve been or how long I’ve been gone, I know something will always be true when I walk through the door at home—I’ll be greeted with joy, excitement, and love. It happens every time, even when I come in from the backyard this happens: unconditional, passionately expressed love. Honestly, it happens so often that I take it for granted and don’t even notice it anymore. But when I do, it makes me feel a little bit good inside. Yeah, the givers of this love are my two dogs and their expressions are wagging tails and panting, dog-smile mouths…but I know they are happy to see me.

The other day, I bumped into an old friend who was back from Guatemala for a few weeks. His family left a few years ago to start a soccer ministry there. I didn’t know they were home so when he walked into my office, the pleasant surprise led to the strongest guy-hug we could muster up. It was great to see him. We wanted to get caught up on things that had happened in each other’s life. That surprise encounter made my day.

There’s something about knowing you’re loved that can change so much. The older I get the more I recognize those simple gestures that communicate “I love you;” “I’m glad to be with you;” “It’s been good to spend time with you.” Perhaps this is true because as more time passes, the more pain, heartache, disappointment, and relational fatigue piles up on our souls. My wife’s hand in mine, a phone call from my kids in college, an e-mail of thanks or encouragement, a guy-hug from an old friend, a cold dog nose nuzzling my knee on the couch—all say, “I love being in your company. You are important to me.”

If expressions of love from spouses, kids, friends, and pets are so important to us, how much more important is it to receive expressions of love from God, the Creator of the Universe? What if God wants me to know, “I love you, Phil. You are very, very important to me. I hope you know that”? Does that change my day? Does that change my perspective on life? Does that change how I treat others?

A couple of years ago, I went through a time of discouragement and fatigue. I, privately, described myself as lonely and tired. A friend and counselor advised me to dig deep into areas of intimacy with God. He told me to begin to read the Bible as if it were a love letter to me from God. During that time, two passages of scripture rocked my emotional foundation. I had been a Christian for 35 years and had been deeply involved in ministry all my adult life. But I needed to be intimately reminded of the most fundamental spiritual truth in the universe—God loves ME. And he desperately wants me to know, understand, and embrace it. Maybe you need to be reminded of that this week. We can’t hear, “I love you” enough, especially from the God of the Universe. Think about these words from scripture today:

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me. Psalm 139.17-18 NLT

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Ephesians 3.17-19 NLT

This week's author- Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

God's ArtPrize

Downtown Grand Rapids is abuzz for the second straight year, as streets and buildings are riddled with artwork. Even as someone who doesn’t consider himself an “art” person, ArtPrize has been a very enjoyable experience for me. Last fall, I got caught up with the big stuff. Remember “Nessy” in the river? Or, the huge table and chairs on top of the blue bridge? That’s the stuff I liked. Pretty telling of my shallow art appreciation, isn’t it? However, this year other types of art are catching my eye. I’m drawn to the stuff made out of simple, ordinary, throw-away things. My favorites so far…

Cavalry, American Officers, 1921. Local Artist Chris LaPorte drew an entire Cavalry company. His drawing covers a 30 foot space in the Grand Rapids Art Museum. Over 60 hand drawn soldiers are represented in life-size proportion. What amazed me (and my art major daughter) is that he drew this 300 square foot piece with #2 pencils—the same pencils kids get in grade school. I love how Chris describes his piece.

Many marks make up the drawing. Many men make up the regiment. Many lines make up the face. Many wrinkles make up the shirt. Many characters make up the story. Many experiences make up the event. Many minutes make up the hour, day, year.

A Matter of Time. Chris Baliker has a stunning 15 foot wood sculpture that has at least 20 animals carved throughout. The carvings are woven together with a web of wooden pieces that appear to me to be either tree roots or drift wood. When we walked by the piece, there was a huge crowd surrounding it. Many people not only stopped, they sat down in the grass and took their time enjoying each animal scattered through the piece.

Other simple displays have caught my eye this year as well. Horses made out of throw-away kitchen utensils. A person’s face formed by wine corks. A huge penny made from 80,000 pennies that have been discolored from time and wear. An 11 foot dragon with a 16 foot tail made from the metals of old water tanks.

Pencils, kitchen junk, scrap metal, old, virtually worthless coins, tangled wood. In essence, these artists are saying, “Watch this! I’m going to make something exquisite, interesting, beautiful, and powerful out of things that others would throw away.”

“For we are God's workmanship…” Paul, here, is talking about artwork—God’s artwork. You and me! We are God’s artwork created “…to do good works.” That’s great news because Paul started this passage by declaring us junk, “…you were dead in your transgressions and sins.” Because of our sins, we should have been thrown away, discarded, wasted. “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive… for by grace through faith, you have been saved…” You know, God has done some great artwork around us such as the sun, the moon, the planet, the sky, the water, and the mountains. But that’s not his best work—we are!

As you wander ArtPrize over the next couple of weeks, think about yourself as God’s ArtPrize. Let these statements ring through your head and heart as you enjoy the art in our town.

• God made me out of junk! I should have been thrown away!
• God paid a huge price for me to be made alive and be his artwork!
• My good works are on display as an exhibit of his grace!

This week’s author: Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

Chosen

Have you ever experienced an identity crisis? You know, those moments when your self-esteem disappears because the things you are responsible for seem to be falling short of your expectations. Have you convinced yourself that your identity is directly related to your performance? It is in these moments when we smell failure that we are prone to fall into deep despair because we forget who we belong to. But is there a better way?

I remember being halfway through grad school studying to be a pastor. My wife and I were seven years into our marriage with four children. Needless to say, going to grad school is not the most lucrative option for providing for your family. My wife was working to support our family and put me through school. She believed in me; however, it frequently seemed others did not. I had close friends, family, and mentors questioning my decision making. Most interactions became a futile exercise in explaining my conviction that God was at work and training me. I began to question. I began to wonder. Am I wrong? Did I make a mistake? What have I done? I remember having the wind knocked out of me as I realized I may have harmed my marriage, ignored my kids, and put my will above the will of my Creator. Where do I go now? Then it happened. I was studying a passage in the Book of Joshua and the Scripture described how Joshua was chosen by God to lead the Israelites. CHOSEN…let that sink in. The Creator of the planet, whose sight can capture the always expanding cosmos, can narrow his focus onto one man for one journey. That word captured me. God chose Joshua, he picked him. I was stunned and wondered can God still do that? The passage of Scripture that Jeff is teaching this weekend answers that question with a resounding YES! Read it:

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will. Ephesians 1.4-5

Stop—let those words cascade over your soul and into your heart. You are CHOSEN. You are ADOPTED. God wants you. He planned for you. Before the sky was made blue, before the grass was shaded green, before he filled the planet with water and air, he thought of you. Not only did he think of you, but he planned to know you. He set his rescue mission in motion. Not because he had to, but because he takes pleasure in you. You are his best work. Work worth saving.

I emerged from that season of my life with a deeper conviction that God has indeed chosen me. In fact, I tattooed that word on my left forearm. I needed a close, intimate, and graphic illustration that God is for me and will stop at nothing to make me his. I will let people down. I will learn difficult lessons as I develop into a more faithful husband, loving dad, and skilled servant. Yet, my identity is not there. I am his. Chosen in eternity past so I might know my Creator for eternity future.

This week's author- Dan Wright, Kentwood Campus Minister

Homeless Guy

Spending a morning in a coffee shop writing and reconnecting with the world through the internet didn’t seem much of a violation of our time of rest and relaxation. My family was in Marquette for the week enjoying a cottage while settling our daughters into college for another year. Grant, my son-in-law, recommended a coffee shop called Babycakes to try. Every masculine bone in my body resisted settling into an establishment called Babycakes, but he assured me this would be a place I’d like. He said they had the best muffins in the world and that this was a place that desired to make a positive impact on the Marquette community. Not sure what he meant about the positive impact part, but I was content with his muffin recommendation.

The place was hopping that morning, so I felt fortunate to find a great window seat looking out on downtown Marquette. The only problem with my seat was that there was a person sitting fairly close to me. Now, I’m a guy who likes his personal space, so sitting in close proximity with a stranger seemed distracting to me. But, there was more to my discomfort with guy. Everything about his appearance said “homeless guy” –long, gray straggly beard; layers of mismatched clothes; worn out stocking cap drooped on his head; overstuffed backpack under his feet. But, I really wanted that window seat, so I pushed through my personal hang-ups and camped next to him giving him a token smile as I put my headphones on (the universal “do not disturb” sign at a coffee shop).

From time to time, I would take a peek at my coffee shop neighbor. For the most part, he just sat quietly; but occasionally he’d do something unusual like carrying on a conversation with the empty chair next to him. Other times, he would grab an ink pen off the table with a sense of urgency and begin to write in a notebook as if something profound had entered his mind that needed immediate recording. Maybe he was an eccentric author or a poet laureate hiding out in Marquette, I thought. Maybe, I was sitting next to greatness. So when I got up to get a refill on my beverage, I couldn’t help but to take a peek at his writing. Hoping to see a masterpiece of literature or art in the making, all I saw was a page filled with scribbles-no words, no drawings- just illegible marks.

I determined to ignore the guy that morning and remain focused on my work so I could get back to our vacation plans. But something happened with the “homeless guy” that got me wondering. It wasn’t something he did, but it was something the employees of Babycakes did. Twice during the time I was there, they brought him food. They didn’t bring me food. I got my food at the counter where I paid. But his food was quietly delivered to his table- first a buttered bagel then a sandwich a couple hours later. No money was exchanged. “What’s going on with this guy?” I wondered. Then I remembered Grant’s statement, “Babycakes wants to make a positive impact on the community.” Then, it hit me. I was seeing a small slice of who Babycakes truly was. They were choosing an identity and this identity was causing them to act in a certain way. It was if they were quietly saying to anyone willing to notice, “We are a place of compassion, therefore, we will be generous to the down-and-out that walk through our doors.”

The book of Ephesians is a letter written by Paul to first century Christians that declares the identity of those who claim to be followers of Jesus. They were known as people of the Way. That beautiful identity should cause them to express themselves in a unique way. Over the next few months, jump into the letter of Ephesians and see the difference in the People of the Way.

This week's author- Phil Niekerk, senior small groups pastor

Exciting Changes this Fall!

This weekend, Pastor Manion begins a new sermon series call The People of Way. This will be a 12-week journey through the book of Ephesians. While the book of the Ephesians is loaded with great, verses, theology and learnings to consider each week, it can be simply broken down into two sections; how we belong (chapters 1-3) and how we behave (chapters 4-6). It seems that Paul believed that our identity (who we are) should radically shape our behavior (what we do). Discovering or re-discovering our identity in Christ this fall may be catalytic for our spiritual growth as people and as a church.

In the past, the small group staff has produced a booklet to be a companion guide for the fall series. This year, we're trying a new approach to help people and groups connect with the fall series. Starting this week, you will find in your weekly program or bulletin,four studies called Beyond the Weekend. These are designed to help you reconnect with the passage and topic of that week's sermon and to introduce you to some other passages and exercises to take you further.

Though ABCLinks will no longer be published, we will be writing small group discussion guides that will be available online as well through an email subscription each week. Also, if you've been enjoying the articles on the front page of the ABCLinks each week, those will be found in the blog called Living in Community found at http://livingincommunity-adabible.blogspot.com/

To receive the weekly small group discussions, contact the small group department at smallgroups@adabible.org

God bless you this fall. I hope you enjoy the new changes.

Discipline and Growth

As a sports fan, I have my favorite teams that I always follow but I also have another category in which I put some teams and athletes. It’s what I call the “love-to-hate” category. I’m not a boxing fan but a handful of years ago, there was a boxer that fit nicely on my love-to-hate list; Mike Tyson. “Iron Mike” is known as one of the greatest fighters of all time. During his glory years in the 80’s, Tyson was the only boxer to ever hold three different heavy weight belts at the same time. He was dominant and it made him rich. Tyson’s career earnings crested $400 million in the late 80’s. But, there was something that I just didn’t like about him. He was brash, loud and arrogant and you could just tell that at some point he was going to do something stupid. I couldn’t wait for him to fall.

While the 80’s were good for Tyson, the 90’s were his demise. In February of 1990, Tyson was unexpectedly knocked out in the 10th round by the virtually unknown Buster Douglas. This blow would usher Tyson in a complete downward spiral not only as a boxer but as a person. In 1992, Tyson was convicted of sexually assaulting a beauty queen in Las Vegas, for which he served three years in prison. After being released from prison in 1995, he engaged in a series of comeback fights. In a 1997 rematch with Evander Holyfield, the fight ended when Tyson was disqualified for biting off part of Holyfield’s ear, an incident that he never recovered from in the public eye. In 1999, Tyson was arrested again for assaulting two people at a traffic scene. As a heavy user of cocaine, Tyson filed or bankruptcy in 2003. Iron Mike was gone from the sports scene. Once, one of sports most dominate figures, Tyson became a public outcast.

Last week, I stumbled on a Sports Illustrated article featuring Tyson (August 2-9 issue). Because of my disgust for the way he treated sports and people, I almost just flipped the page to find something more palatable to read. But, a quote jumped off the page. “I’m a joke, I want to count for something- to do nice things so my kids can respect me.” In one statement, Tyson had expressed something I’d never heard from him; humility and kindness. Could Tyson have grown? Could the man have changed? Once known as the Baddest Man on the Planet, Tyson talked in the article of his loving wife Kiki and their beautiful daughter, Milan. “I realized that if I wanted to have a healthy life and if someone was willing to love me, then she deserved the best I had to offer,” Tyson says. “She deserved the best of me physically, emotionally, spiritually. And it wasn’t easy, trust me... I just knew that in order to make this work, all that other stuff in me had to die.”
As a boxer, Tyson knew about personal discipline. For years, he had disciplined his body to be the most feared man in the ring. But, over the past decade, Tyson’s character and person has gone through a significant discipline that has brought about transformational personal growth. A self-centered, arrogant, abuser turned loving husband and father.

God smiles when we allow the pain of discipline to be redemptive toward change. What's your growth story? What pain has God used in your life to bring positive change?

Meltdown and Provision

To be on vacation and not be able to sleep was troubling. Aren’t vacations are supposed to be times of rest and recharge, I thought. We were settled in a beautiful cottage on a beautiful lake in northern Michigan. The weather was perfect. Our family was together. The setting was bent toward a week of fresh air, relaxation and recreation. Sleepless on vacation, in this environment, was not like me. I was struggling and it was something between God and me.

That summer had been a difficult summer for my wife. She had heard this too statement too many times, “Thanks for interviewing with us, but we’ll be pursuing candidates with more experience.” Five interviews, five rejections and some of these were from people who had given her tremendous hope and affirmation. For eight years, my wife had prepared to be a teacher. When all our kids entered school, my wife felt led to pursue this dream. It was a passion that grew deep in her soul. It was as if God had planted it there. Four years of college classes and four years of working as a substitute teacher led her to this fateful summer of interviews. She had been given wonderful reviews and hopeful feedback. One hiring principle in the school she subbed even helped her fine tune her resume. She was affirmed by her colleagues and filled with hope. But, one interview after another ended with, “We really like you but... there are so many experienced teachers in the hiring pool these days. Sorry.” She was left to believe that her dream was not going to happen. If the schools who knew and loved her can’t hire her, then who would. It appeared, she had become a victim of the Michigan economy.

She grieved deeply, but was able to emotionally moved forward. I, on the other hand, had some things to say to God. I was mad. I wasn’t upset at the schools or principles, I was angry with God. “God, why would do lead my wife down this road just to crush her? Why would you plant a dream in her just to have it shattered? What’s the point of this?” My lament over this situation haunted me during that summer vacation. I hurt for her. Why wasn’t God acting on her behalf? At the end of that week, she got a call for, yet one more interview. This came from a inner-city charter school of which she had never stepped foot in. On a whim, many months previously she had sent a resume to the school administration, never seriously believing she would hear from them. She was an unknown and there was no logical reason for them call. She agonized about whether to even drive three hours from our vacation cottage to interview with a school, thinking another rejection would follow. A week later, she was offered a job, a job that she’s loved now for the last two years.

I marvel at God’s patience and grace with me. God wanted to provide and when he did, he did with joy and creativity, even in the midst of my confused and frustrated lament. Perhaps, when the next opportunity like this arises, I’ll respond with greater trust.

Complaint, Trust and Joy in the Land Between

Strip me naked and leave me alone in a room and I will still have more than I deserve.

Interesting statement, isn’t it? Makes you wonder who would say something like that. Several years ago, a friend dropped this line on me. We had bumped into each other at a mall. Our wives were at a ladies retreat and each of us was trying to entertain our kids that evening at the mall. I knew that he just received the news that his wife had a slow progressing, debilitating disease that could, over time, drastically affect their lives. They were entering into a time of waiting to see what this disease would truly do to her and their way of life. As we chatted about the details of their new situation, I felt compelled to ask him how he, as dad and husband, was doing personally with this news. Putting myself in his shoes, I could only imagine the thoughts and emotions that invaded his mind and heart. Would he be filled with worry, disappointment, distress, confusion, complaint, denial, or anger? I’m sure that each of these tempted his private moments, but I knew him well enough to know that he would pursue another way to respond.

Strip me naked and leave me alone in a room and I will still have more than I deserve.

That’s all he said about it and his cryptic answer left me hanging. It caught me by surprise and I didn’t have the courage at the time to ask him what he truly meant. But it captivated my thoughts for days. What was he saying to me about his perspective on his new circumstance in life? After reflecting on my friend and his approach to life, I think he was saying these things:

If life takes everything away me, God is still good.
Anything that I have ever enjoyed, including my wonderful wife, I didn’t really deserve.
She’s an undeserved gift.
She’ll continue to be a wonderful gift to me despite her disease.
This is not a setback but an opportunity to experience God and life more fully.
I could choose to complain in this situation but I’m choosing joy instead.
I’d rather encourage you, today, than ask you to commiserate with me.

In the moment that my friends heard that a disease would affect their lives, they entered into the land between; a place of wondering about the future, a place of waiting to learn the outcome of the news, a place of adjusting to their changing reality. But, the land between is a place of choice where two conflicting options of response face off: complaint and joy.

This month, Jeff is teaching on the Land Between that God asked the Israelites to walk through on the way to the promise land. Let's create a discussion on your Land Between. Is complaint sneaking into your heart? Who hears your complaint? Could choosing trust or joy be a remedy for you in this season of life?

God's Tough Love

Stephen was a small town pastor who had a knack for choosing churches that were unhealthy places of ministry. On several occasions, the pain for pastoring these types of churches put a lot of strain on Stephen’s family. Dan is one of Stephen’s sons, and over time he became disillusioned with his dad’s career choice and began to resent the church. Dan rebelled and when he told me his story, Dan said, “I tried to make my parents’ lives miserable.” After several years of enduring his son’s rebellion, Stephen made a hard choice, he told his son to move out. He had had enough.

With no job and nowhere to go, Dan was in a tough place. Stephen suggested to Dan that he give a relative in Atlanta a call. What Dan didn’t know was that Stephen had a safety net in place for him. Stephen had pulled his cousin in Atlanta into the plan. Stephen purchased a plane ticket and his cousin had an open room and job lined up for Dan. Seeing this as his only option, Dan bitterly packed his things and moved to Atlanta. The next two years are described by both men as being quiet and distant. Dan was angry, filled with resentment for his dad’s decision. Stephen was heartbroken but hopeful his son would turn his life around. During those two years, they rarely spoke. But Dan was changing. He was growing, softening, and finding his way with God. Dan’s relationship with his “aunt” and the death of his grandfather during that time were pivotal in Dan’s turning back to God and his family. Eventually, father and son reconciled. Dan is now on staff at Ada Bible Church and Stephen serves as an elder here as well. Stephen now beams with fatherly pride for his son. Dan often expresses gratitude for having Stephen as his dad.
They say there are two sides to every story. Often, the facts vary between tellers of the same story. That wasn’t the case when I heard this story first from Dan, two years ago and Stephen two weeks ago. Both sides of the story were told with incredible consistency in facts, but the tone of the story was dramatically different. Dan told the story from the perspective of a humbled, remorseful, and grateful son. Stephen told it from a patient, heartbroken father with a strong resolve and sense for right and wrong.

There’s something about a good father and son story that gets me thinking about God and his relationship with me. God is called Father, for a good reason. He’s a good dad who wants the best for his kids. And when our sinful choices cause distance from him, we see his fatherly character traits come alive. We see his patience, allowing us to make choices and to turn back to him on our own. We see his justice when he says, “Enough! You cannot continue this anymore.” He disciplines us with a safety net in place. He doesn’t destroy us, but he corrects us. We see his hopeful plan for our return and reconciliation. He longs for us to come home.

Helpppppp!

Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t know what to do? When’s the last time you felt stuck? Consider what this man from China did in a sticky situation.

All Xiao Chen wanted to do was go for a swim. Thinking it’d be fun, the 25-year-old Chinese man headed toward what he thought was the river. As it turns out, it was just silt, and it wasn’t long before he found himself waist-deep in mud, and sinking! Now most people with their life on the line would’ve used their mobile phones to call for help. Chen, despite having a phone, was too embarrassed to call for help.

After struggling to free himself for four hours, Chen finally gave up and asked two passing fishermen for help. They called the fire department, who then spent another SEVEN hours trying to drag the man to safety! The situation would’ve been easier had Chen just taken off his pants, but he was too embarrassed to even do that! Even after firefighters stripped down to their undies, Chen’s modesty prevented him from doing the same, even though it would’ve probably allowed him to escape before 12 hours had passed. (popfi.com)

I want to chuckle at Chen’s stubbornness but I risk hearing from my family that I’m just like him. A few years ago, my son and I got caught in some high waves in Lake Superior. We had been exploring cave formations at Pictured Rocks when the winds shifted and the waves grew larger. For 45 minutes, we fought the waves and winds on flimsy blow-up rafts to work our way around a rock formation and back to shore. Though we were never in real danger, we finished our journey incredibly fatigued and very agitated. You see, our battle didn’t have to be that long. Within eye shot, we there were boats constantly coming near us; kayaks, pontoons and fishing boats. As we paddled furiously through waves, my son would ask me to call out for one of the boats but I insisted that we’d make it. Anyone of them would have helped us… if I would have cried out for help.

One of the hardest things for people to do in a desperate circumstance is to ask for help. Somewhere, we’ve cultivated this notion that it’s better for us just do it on our own. Asking for help requires humility because it’s an admission that we cannot do something without help. We are putting the outcome of our circumstance in the hands of someone else. Humility requires reliance which in turn, requires trust in the person from whom we’ve sought help.

What do you do when you're stuck? Is asking for help something you need to do this week?

Slump

There’s a word that no baseball player wants to hear in relationship to his name. It’s the word “slump.” A slump in baseball can be defined as when a player’s batting average takes a dive over a significant period of time. He simply can’t get a hit. Even when he hits it hard, the ball is caught. Listen to what former major leaguers said about slumps. Bob Uecker said, “I had slumps that lasted into the winter.” Casey Stengel remarked about a team slump, “We are in such a slump that even the ones that aren’t drinkin’ aren’t hittin’.” Yogi Beara quipped, “Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.”

For the last 10 years, I’ve spent my spring evenings coaching baseball. When I first started coaching, the kids on my teams were 7 year olds. Now, I’m coaching players at the varsity level. Some will be leaving for college next year. One thing I’ve realized is the older a player gets, the more we seem to be coaching the mental and emotional side of the game. Hitting a baseball can be a streaky thing and a slump can really mess with a young man’s mind. Recently, I’ve watched a couple of very talented young men struggle in slumps. The longer the slump goes, the more pressure they feel. The slump begins to affect other things like their fielding and pitching. It even creeps into their school work and social life. I’ve also noticed that slumps often reflect the athlete’s personality. There’s the depressed slumper who withdraws alone in a corner of the dugout after a strike out. There’s the angry slumper who will throw helmets and kick bases. There’s the blaming slumper who accuses the weather, umpires, coaches, and girlfriends for their struggles. And then there’s the joking slumper who uses self-deprecating humor to deal with hitting issues. Slumps can be very emotional and the only way out of one is to keep coming to practice and to simply hit the baseball.

As a pastor, I’ve also seen people go into spiritual slumps. This happens to good people who have passionately followed God with their lives but for some reason they’ve drifted off their game. Their walk with God has run dry and become ineffective. Their spiritual disciplines become hard and mechanical. I’ve had people tell me, “I’m just not experiencing God’s presence in my life right now. God seems distant.” Or, “My Bible reading seems dull and my prayers seem to hit the ceiling.” Others have said, “There’s a sin pattern in my life I just can’t shake and it’s affecting my relationships with God and the people in my life.” We can all go through spiritually dry periods in our lives that are hard to break from. These can be caused by fatigue, stress, sin, lack of discipline, compromise, or just a time of testing. But God wants us to be hitters. He wants us to break out of our slump.

If you are in a spiritual slump, you most likely won't get out of it by ourself. Tell someone you trust today about you struggle. Ask for help and encouragement. Walking with God is a team sport!

Second Half

One of my favorite authors over the past few years has been Gordon McDonald. McDonald has been a pastor for many years and his insights into life in ministry have been very encouraging to me. Several years ago, I had the chance to attend an all-day seminar taught by McDonald. If I recall, the overall message of the day was, doing your best work in the second half of your life. Gordon was in his mid-60s at the time and he was on quest to finish his life well. He believed that in his 60s, 70s and 80s, he should be well-read, street smart and at the height of wisdom. He believed he had the most to offer in this stage of his life. Unfortunately, he also believed that most people in his demographic didn’t believe this. He told a story that day has stuck with me.

One day, Gordon decided to take out a legal pad and make a list of all the guys he knew that were older than him. As he did this his wife came up behind and asked him what he was up to. Gordon explained, “I’m making a list of all the old guys I know.” “Umm… why, Gordon,” she asked. “I want to know how many older men in my life that I actually like. I want to know who I am becoming.” “So, how's it going?” she inquired. “Terrible,” he said as panned his full page of names, “I don’t like any of these guys. They are all either grumpy, set in their ways or have given up.”

From this exercise, Gordon began his book, “The Resilient Life,” a brilliant writing on the second half of your life being your most productive to the Kingdom of God. Gordon identifies the critical questions people tend to ask in each adult decade of their life. Remarkably, these questions show how hard it is to finish well.

20’s: What kind of man or woman am I becoming? How am I different than my parents?
30’s: How do I prioritize the demands of life? How far can I go in fulfilling my sense of purpose?
40s: Why are others doing better than me? Why are my limitations outweighing my options?
50s: Why is my body becoming unreliable? How do I deal with failures and successes?
60s: Why do I feel ignored by those younger than me? Why am I curious about obituaries?
70’s - 80s: Does anyone realize or care who I once was? Is my story important to anyone? How much of my life can I still control? Can I still contribute?

There so many things that oppose our pursuit of productive second half of life. Failing body, changing culture, a competitive younger generation, failures of the past, discouragement and disillusionment. But, McDonald’s premise remains true to me. I want the last half of my life to show my best work. If I grow in my walk with God, through every decade of life, I should have the more to offer a broken world the older I get, despite the physical limitations and past pain I’ve experienced.

Think about the stage of life you are in? What positive steps are you taking today that will impact who you will become 20 years from now?

Remove and Repair

While many of my friends were basking in the sun of Florida or Cancun during Spring Break, I camped out in my daughter’s bedroom. She’s still at college, so she didn’t mind. Actually, she was pretty pleased that I’d spend my vacation in her room because it needed to be remodeled. Her room was a mess and had been in need of a makeover for quite awhile.
Remodeling is hard work and really comes in two stages; remove and repair. The remove or destruction phase seems like the most fun but it really wasn’t. It’s messy and painful. Of course, before could do anything to Kati’s room, all the furniture had to be carried to the garage. Then we had sort through all her stuff and decide what was worth keeping what could be thrown away. Walls were then sanded, holes were patched, carpet was ripped out, trim was pulled, garbage cans were filled, and the dust was swept. At this in the project, I’m usually left with the feeling, “Oh, my! What have I done? This place is destroyed! Look at all the work we have to do!” However, that is also the time when the dream of what the room could be like begins to seem possible. Despair over the mess turns to an energy to accomplish making the room new and beautiful. So, the construction or repair begins.
A fresh of coat paint with a new color reshapes the feel of the room. A beautiful wood laminate floor replaces the dingy, dirty, worn, old carpet. New oak trim accents the floor and windows. The furniture, cleaned and painted, is moved back into the room. The bed is covered with a new comforter and pillows. The windows are treated with new blinds. Pictures are hung again. This mess of a room is now a new place. It’s fresh, bright, clean and inviting. It’s been restored. It’s been transformed. It’s made new through a ton of effort, purpose, planning, pain and investment. But, it was worth it!
I recently heard a speaker make this statement about transformation. He said, “Change often comes when the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change.” Ouch! But, I had to agree with him. Too often, I wait to change a mess in my life until the pain of remaining with the mess hurts enough for me to move. I think there’s a hope that if I do nothing the mess will go away. One person’s definition of insanity is “Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.”
So... are doing the same ol' thing, disappointed with the results over and over?
Which pain is driving you today, the pain of staying the same of the pain of changing? Start a spiritual remodel project today. Get busy with removing and repairing.

When You Have Little to Give

Think about this question,“When I’m running on empty physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially, can I still be generous?” My tendency is to push the default button and withdraw from others in need to tend to my own problems and sense of misery. However, I’ve been learning from a couple people in my life that consistently model a life of generosity in the midst of facing serious life issues of their own. They are teaching me a ton. \

Debbie Jo is someone I’ve served in ministry with for over two decades. She’s been faithful for many years in providing beautiful opportunities of spiritual growth for the women at ABC. She works diligently in planning enriching women’s events that touch hundreds of lives. And, she’ll often be found sitting quietly with a woman in life crisis, giving her wisdom and counsel from God’s Word. She’s a very attentive listener and extraordinarily wise. What most people may not know about Debbie Jo is that she has had a slow progressing type of Multiple Sclerosis for over 10 years. This disease often leaves her with incredible fatigue and debilitating pain. However, the way she carries herself, you’d never know it. Recently, I was able to listen to her tell her life story and when she got to the part about MS, she said something that struck a deep cord with me. She said, “I’ve learned to embrace MS. MS has been one of the best things for me. It’s given me a measure of compassion I would have never had without it.” Now... that is not a normal thing to say, I thought.

Doug is a fellow elder and one of our small groups pastors at ABC. Recently, he and I have been working together on a care situation involving some ABC families. This has been a very time consuming and tiring ordeal in which God has shown himself in some incredible ways. However, this situation isn’t the only difficult thing in Doug’s life. He is facing some heavy financial issues stemming from a business that went south in the economic downturn of the recent past. He is also caring for his father with rapidly failing health. While we were working on this care situation, Doug’s dad fell and broke his hip. Doug was needed to lead his family (mom and sisters) to make some difficult decisions on behalf of the care of his dad. These decisions included nursing care, hospice, and the “no heroic measures” discussion. Gut-wrenching stuff for any son. What amazed me most as I journeyed with Doug, was his resolve to stay involved with the care of people at ABC while he faced his personal issues. He could have easily withdrawn from others to focus on his own serious matters. At one point he said, “Phil, this is therapy for me.” What he was saying was, “Helping others gives me strength to face my own issues.” Now... that is not a normal thing to say, I thought.

That must be why Paul calls this the “grace of giving.” Giving when you have little to give is grace, or a gift from God. And he wants us all to experience it.

Have a Conversation

When I saw Dave with his family across the Atrium, I knew I needed to go talk to him. It had been too long and there was a strong, unspoken tension between us. The sermon that morning about forgiveness and restoration was fresh on my mind, but I fought the conviction in my soul to act on what I had just heard. A list of ways to avoid a conversation with Dave scrolled through my head. I’d deal with this later. Then, there he was, walking my direction with a bead on me. The conversation I was avoiding was going to happen.

Dave and I have been friends for close to a decade. We spent an enormous amount of time together and with each other’s families. Our friendship was filled with joy, laughter, and authentic care for one another. However, a month earlier, we got sideways over a single moment in time and a single issue. Something I expected didn’t happen and I blamed Dave. I was disappointed with him and I expressed it. My typical anger modus operandi is not to explode but to stew and then grow cold and distant. I had said just enough to Dave in that dark moment for him to realize my anger. He knew I would stew for days over this… and he let me do it. That was his way of expressing his disappointment with me. Ten years of joy was halted by our coldhearted-guy-pride. Someone had to break the ice and Dave was the man to end this frigid nonsense. Anger had turned to coldness and coldness had turned to fear. Our friendship was paralyzed and was in jeopardy of drifting away forever. We needed to have a conversation to restore what we had enjoyed for so long.

When Dave initiated the conversation, he did it right. By now, the point of our contention had almost been forgotten. But, there were some things about this conversation that I’ll never forget and be forever grateful for. First, Dave acted on the Spirit’s prompting to obey even when it felt hard, awkward, and risky. I knew that God was doing a work in Dave. Second, before he talked about the pain I caused him, Dave claimed ownership of his part in our broken relationship. Finally, Dave was clear that what he wanted most was for this conflict to end and our friendship to be restored. Dave and I made our peace that day. Apologies were given and forgiveness was offered from both sides. That simple but difficult conversation was critical. Unfortunately, we had more discomfort to walk through in order to pick up our friendship where it left off (but, that’s another story).

There’s a myth about relationships that goes something like this, “good friends don’t have conflicts.” Truth is… no friendship is exempt from tripping into conflict. Conflict happens in the healthiest of relationships. That's why Jesus said what he said in Matthew 18.15-17.

Daily Bread

The news coming out of Haiti has caused me to think again about the meaning of Jesus’ reference to daily bread. The images of the thousands of people clamoring for food, water and medical attention are stunning. When a Jesus follower in Haiti wakes up in the morning after another night in a make-shift shelter praying, “Give me today my daily bread,” their prayer has much more profound ramifications than when I say that prayer. As I write in a local coffee shop, I’m surrounded by people drinking $4 coffee drinks while I’m trying to decide whether to have a muffin or a bagel. I have lunch plans with colleagues today and my pantry and fridge are filled with at least a week’s provision of food. I have cash in my wallet, money in the bank and countless ways to access it and spend it. Do I have any business praying that portion of the Lord’s Prayer? Do I need God to provide anything for me today?

The answer is yes. I may not need his provision of food, clothing and shelter as he has already graciously provided it for me. But, I do need my daily allotment of grace to be treat people well. I need him to provide me with wisdom to make good decisions with my time and money. I need his protection from the sin that is constantly crouching at my door. I need him to give me the insight to not live selfishly but to look for ways to be encouraging and generous with all the good I have. All of these things are very important to God. He loves to provide the basics of life to his kids. He loves to give good gifts that meet our needs and equip us for life in his Kingdom. But, what if these things are small in the eyes of God compared to something he wants for us that is so much bigger?

In the life of Abraham, we encounter God being attributed names that describes his character or essence. The one that strikes me today is The God Who Provides. It occurs in the story of Abraham when he is asked to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Isaac is the only heir to the promise God had made to Abraham to make him into a great nation. When Isaac asks what the sacrafice will be, Abraham tells him that God will provide. Consider what God provided for Abraham. He needed it desperately. God gave a ram caught in a thicket. The ram was Isaac's subsitute. God’s provision to Abraham paints a beautiful picture of what we so desperately need for our survival, a substitute sufferer. More than our daily needs, which God loves to provide, he's given us his Son as substitute for the suffering I deserve.