Genuine and Well-Timed Encouragement

At a recent ABC staff Christmas party, an envelope with my name on it was placed in front of me. I knew what it was—it was the outcome of a project that most of our staff had participated in. Weeks before, we were e-mailed a document with all the staff names on it. We were asked to write a word of encouragement or gratitude next to people’s names. One of our admin staff sorted through all these remarks and made each person a compiled list of comments unique to that person. It had been a joy to write notes for others, but now in front of me was an envelope that contained others’ thoughts about me.

In a private moment, I nervously opened the envelope. It’s amazing the anxiety that goes into reading things written about you. Illogical fears teased my mind. What if the comments are superficial and written out of obligation? What if I see backhanded compliments like: “You’re not as a big jerk as you used to be”? Even worse, what if the page is empty? What if these “encouragement sheets” leave me more discouraged about myself? Illogical, I know.

As I slowly read each comment (on multiple pages), I savored every word like they were bites of a steak dinner chewed by a homeless man. Tears ran down my eyes as I read kind notes that affirmed my work, my character, and my friendships. Some comments were short but very sweet from anonymous sources while others were short paragraphs from people who left their names. At the end of the reading, I felt affirmed, appreciated, encouraged, and loved. It struck me again at that moment, how powerful genuine, well-timed encouragement is in our lives. You see, in the weeks prior, I had come to realize that I had grown disillusioned and discouraged in my work. Instead of feeling affirmed, I experienced doubts. Instead of working from a heart of joy, I had grown cynical. Instead of feeling appreciated, I felt pushed aside. Genuine, well-timed encouragement was a powerful medicine for the sickness of discouragement I had allowed into my soul.

So what’s the mystery behind genuine, well-timed encouragement? Why is it so critical and impactful in our lives? First, it’s rare in our world today. I don’t know that I have ever met anyone who said, “I’m feeling over-encouraged.” We hunger for value and words of encouragement to fill our hearts with worth and purpose. Secondly, we’re overwhelmed with negative expressions of words. Our music can be angry. The news is often bad. Our conversations can be filled with complaint, sarcasm, and criticism. That’s why this proverb is so true:

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 16:24 NIV

There’s not a person on this planet who hasn’t experienced the personal damage of misused words. We all bear the wounds of others’ words. And, we also know the damage we have caused others with our poorly expressed words. We are people who have the power to create, but to also destroy, with our words. James writes about the conundrum of the mouth:

People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!
James 3.7-10 NLT

We use 10,000 to 20,000 words per day. Every word you use has an audience. What does that audience need to hear from you today? Remember, they have probably received enough correction, criticism, and banter for the day. How can you build up, create new, encourage, affirm, and value that person? Let your words be a sweet treat and an agent of healing today.