Three Guys

Here are three stories of guys tempted to stray and how they’ve responded to the wayward pull.

Guy #1
I’ll call him Jim to protect the guilty. I had not met Jim until we had lunch together. His small group leader had connected us because, as Jim’s leader said, “He really needs to talk to a pastor about the decisions he’s making.” Jim agreed to meet with me. Honestly, it was an awkward conversation but once I asked a few direct questions, Jim became very honest about his situation. As we started into our sandwiches, he said, “So… there’s this woman.” Jim was a married man; I could tell “this woman” was not his wife. I probed for more details and he was remarkably forth coming. He had met her at an on-going social activity. She was very attractive and gave him lots of attention. She was married as well and they had found their struggling marriages to be something in common. When I asked him if his new relationship had become physical, he confessed to being involved in a full-blown affair. I confronted him with the biblical truth about adultery. Without excuse, he acknowledged this was against God’s way of living. But it was clearly evident that he was unwilling to end the affair and pursue his wife. He had finally found what he always really wanted and he was willing to face the pain and consequences to pursue his new found passion. He left our lunch together early.

Guy #2
We’ll call him Joe to protect the innocent. Joe called me and asked to have lunch. I got the sense from our phone conversation that he wanted to talk about something significant. I was right. As we started into our sandwiches, he said, “So… there’s this woman.” When I probed for details, he was remarkably forthcoming. He met this other woman at an ongoing social activity for his kids. Her kids did the same activities as his and they, as parents, were deeply involved in this venture. She was very attractive and gave him a lot of attention. He wasn’t looking for an affair but her presence and affirming words were making him feel things he hadn’t felt in a long time. His marriage was struggling and he suspected hers was as well. “What should I do?” he asked. “I’m afraid if I pursue this, it won’t end well. But, I’m so drawn to her.” We spent our time talking about practical ways to create distance with this woman. We then chatted about new ways he could pursue his wife. Our friendship continues today and his marriage is improving.

Guy #3
A year ago this week, I got a call that my dad had passed way. He was a man of faithfulness, integrity and principle who had served as a pastor for 56 years. He was also a man who loved to share his faith with anyone who would listen. God had taken him quickly and peacefully.

A couple of years previous to his passing, a woman living in his assisted living facility asked to speak with him. She was in the mid-stages of Alzheimer’s and her days were a combination of mental sharpness and debilitating confusion. She was struggling to remember some important tenants of her faith that she had believed all her life. She wanted dad’s help to understand who God was in her life as her mental capacity was slipping away from her. Dad agreed to meet with her in his room but told her that she needed to bring a friend because he couldn’t meet with a woman alone. It was a principle that dad had lived by for over 60 years. When I heard that, I thought, “Really, dad? You’re 93 years old. What do you think could happen?” That didn’t matter to dad. He had chosen principles of protection years ago and he refused to stray from them.

In our discussion of the seven churches in Revelation, we come to the fourth church: Thyatira. Thyatira seems to be a church whose people are split in how they will live out their faith. There are people who had once been known for their deeds of love, service, and perseverance but had been seduced into an “anything goes” theology of living. Some had given into a lifestyle of sexual immorality, thinking they could have their faith in Christ and still engage in immoral relationships. To them he says to repent or grave consequences will follow. Jesus points out those who had been faithful; to them he says, “only hold onto what you have until I come.” Stay on track! Keep doing what is good and right! Nothing new—just keep being faithful.

Questions to ponder:
1. Are you rationalizing sinful behaviors, patterns, or habits? Do you have a foot in both worlds?
2. Do you believe the biblical warning that consequences will follow sin?
3. Do you long for God’s smile and approval in your life? Will you pursue a heart of faithfulness?