Monday, July 9, 2012

Change in Life-Seasons

The seasons are changing at the Niekerk household. No, I’m not talking about the weather in Michigan which is gripped in the hottest and longest summer heat wave I can remember. I’m referring to a change in our season of life. Janice and I are about to face a significant change in our family. At times, we’re very excited about what is to come; but we also have moments when we get a little rattled thinking about what life will be like once this change fully comes.

To put it simply, in September we’ll have all three of our kids, a son-in-law, and our first grandchild living in Marquette, Michigan. The good news is that they will be together in the same town. The bad news is that Marquette is 400 miles from our home. We’ve seen this coming, just like we know winter is nearing when the first snowflake floats by. But, as the summer passes and September nears, I find myself reflecting a little more about seasons past and dreaming about what new things God has for us in the future.
Our youngest, Trent, just graduated from high school. He’s known for a couple of years that he wants to attend Northern Michigan University, the same college his two older sisters attended. Our family loves that area and he fell in love with the idea of attending college in this beautiful, quaint and friendly community. But, the reality of him leaving for Marquette truly hit me last week as we took him to college for a three-day orientation. It was obvious to us that this was the right choice for him. He was happy and fit in the surroundings like they were made for him. Seeing him wandering the campus got us excited for him.
But we’ve been doing some grieving as well. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve pulled into my driveway to see my driveway and yard crowded with teenage cars. This is a good thing. This means Trent’s friends are hanging out in our basement. We love this because his friends are really great kids and they know that our house is always open to them. Just last night, Griff stopped by to pick up a video game he left. Trent wasn’t home but he politely walked in, grabbed his stuff, and stopped to chat with us for several minutes. We love Griff and are thrilled that Trent has him as a friend. This sort of thing happens all the time, but we feel the day approaching when this season in our house will end. Come September, all these kids will be at college somewhere. Our house will be quiet, disturbingly quiet. But in my grief, this verse has been a huge encouragement to me.

Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. Psalm 1.1

David, the song writer, emphasizes the critical importance of choosing your friends well. Good relationships can make your life strong, but bad relationships can ruin life. As a parent who has watched three kids walk through the muddy—and even dangerous—relational waters of middle school, high school and now college, I would write this verse this way:

Oh, what incredible joy we have knowing that our kids are not choosing to take bad advice from bad people or are choosing to hang around people who love sin and bad behavior. Instead they are choosing friends who build them up and help them move forward. 

This helps my grief as I see the season changing in our home. I have confidence that Trent’s ability to choose great friends will continue in college and his adult life.
On the other end of our family spectrum, we had a chance last week to spend some time with our oldest daughter. She’s starting her eighth month of her first pregnancy. The season of us being grandparents is coming soon. Empty nesters and grandparents—all in the same month! But not only are Kari and Grant planning for the arrival of their baby, they are really wrestling with what career paths they should pursue. Grant is contemplating a change in his college direction. It seems he has more questions than answers regarding where God is leading him. But he said something to me that was very, very encouraging. He said with excitement, “The other day, one of my pastors prophesied over me. He prophesied that I would someday be in vocational ministry.”  Though the “prophesy” wording threw me for a bit, his statement gave me incredible joy. It was a huge indication that Grant and Kari have no desire to waste their lives. They want to do what God asks them to do and are willing to construct their family lifestyle to be ready for God’s specific leading. Their hearts are open to serving in this capacity if God chooses this for their lives. The words from Psalm 1 continued to resonate with me.
But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do. But not the wicked! They are like worthless chaff, scattered by the wind. Psalm 1.2-4
What a joy to have the truth of scripture reinforced by watching my kids’ lives change. What a joy to see my kids chose relationships that spiritually matter. What a joy to see my kids desire a life that makes a spiritual difference. I’m a blessed man! 

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