How Does Accountability Work?

My wife's niece emailed me the other day to ask about how she should approach the subject of accountability with a new group she is forming. Accountability in groups is an important but loaded subject. Here are some of my observations of the topic over the years. Accountability is good... but needs to be approached in the right manner.

1. Accountability doesn't work well with big groups. I will not be vulnerable with 50 people, 20 people, 10 people. I will, however, be open with 2-4 people whom I know and trust.
2. Openness and vulnerability are crucial for true accountability. Trust is imperative or people will hide. Time builds trust. Trust builds courage, honesty and openness.
3. Most people believe that you will stop loving them if you see the "real" them. Trusting someone with their junk is counter-intuitive to most people because they want to be seen in the best light. This poses an enemy to accountability.
4. You need to be clear about what you're asking people to be accountable for. Purity? Bible reading? Giving? Prayer? What is it? Be crystal clear.
5. Have clear accountability questions so that people know what will be asked of them on a consistent basis. Stay away from yes/no answers where people can hide or lie easy.
6. Accountability should be measured. The word accountability means you plan to "count" something or measure it. What's the yard stick? For example, someone can want accountability in the area of prayer. Well... what's the goal? Pray 10 minutes each day? Or... learn to engage the heart of God? How can it be measured?
7. Accountability is not the mechanism for transformation, the Holy Spirit is. Accountability must aid the work of the Spirit or it becomes a form of self-righteous legalism. Remember, the Pharisees had all kinds of forms of accountability to guide them. Jesus had his harshest words for their self-righteous attitudes. They needed to confess the sins of their "obedient"/ disciplined lifestyles.
8. Accountability is no good without grace and forgiveness. What will you do if I fail? Throw me out? Slap my hand? Apply mercy? "Confess your sins one to another, so that you will find mercy" Another verse uses the word, "healing."
9. People are loved into obedience not driven. We obey fully when we understand how great God's love is for us. We become disciplined because we want a deeper and truer relationship with the God that gave so much for us.