Forgiveness | The Best Gift

I can only remember seeing my dad cry just a few times in my life. He usually had his emotions well measured and under control. But there was a day when the circumstances of his life got the best of him and his emotions were worn squarely on his sleeve. I was nineteen at the time and was home from Bible college that weekend. I had heard from my parents that the previous couple of weeks had been very difficult. Dad had been the pastor in a small church for 14 years, double the average time of most country pastors in that day. Over those years, the church had doubled in size and had built a new auditorium. The people of that community seemed to love my parents.

But, some members of the church board were thinking it was time for a younger man to take the helm and they began to put pressure on dad to retire or resign. Dad was approaching his 70^th birthday and the board may have had some valid points as they looked at the future of the church. But instead of working on a succession plan with my dad, they worked against him. The pressure became great and on that Sunday that I was home, he announced his resignation to the congregation. That’s when I saw the tears. It was obvious that he was not ready to leave. This was not the way he dreamed his ministry would end at this church. Though dad would never admit it, he was deeply wounded and the source of the pain came from a couple men on that church board.

I have some very fond memories of that country church. I grew up there. I was five when we moved there and I was 19 when dad resigned. My entire childhood was at that church. But because of what I saw happen to my parents, I refused to entertain the thought of becoming a pastor. Of course, God softened my heart and has given me a wonderful ministry to serve. But that difficult day haunted me for years.

Dad passed away a couple years ago at the age of 95. At the luncheon that followed his memorial service a man from that church came and sat with me. I remembered him very well. He was one of my youth leaders for many years and I had fond memories of him and his family. However, I also knew that he played a part in my dad’s dismissal. I didn’t know how much, just that he was one who thought dad should go. The conversation we had that day was very important to me because it affirmed something that I believed to be true of my dad. It affirmed that dad was a man willing to forgive the deepest hurts and wrongs done to him. At that luncheon, this man wanted me to know a few things about that time when dad was forced to resign. He wanted me to know that he was the ring leader in this maneuver and that he had come to realize that he was wrong in how he treated my dad. He stated that he’s never had a better pastor than my dad and he regrets deeply the pain he caused someone so important to him. Then he told me something even more valuable. He said he had visited my dad a few years ago and had told him how wrong and how sorry he was. Then as tears flowed from his eyes and his chin began to quiver, he told me that dad had forgiven him. Twenty-five years after the offense, forgiveness still had a powerful impact on this man. In was an invaluable gift given to this man.

In Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount, he gave some tough teaching about enemies. I’m not sure my dad would have seen the men on his board as enemies at the time, but I’ve come to realize that enemies can come from variety of sources. Think of an enemy as someone who stands in the way of your doing what needs to be done. It’s someone who is trying to stop you from what is good and right. Sometimes enemies arise from places close to you: a cranking toddler who threatens your peace of mind, a co-worker who distracts you from working with integrity, a boyfriend who asks you to compromise. These are what I’d call subtle enemies. Sure there’s the bully on the playground and the ruthless corporation trying to take down your small business—those are the obvious ones. But, don’t forget the quieter ones that sneak up on each of us. Jesus’ words apply just as much to them.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.     Matthew 5.43-44

Love the people who hurt you. Pray for those who make your life tougher. Why? Because when we do, we look like our Father in Heaven.  Before I can forgive someone who has caused me pain, I need to see myself as a former enemy of God; someone who has put up resistance to the good that God wants to give the world. My sinful decisions thwart his plan and he’s forced to respond to my enemy resistance called sin. His response—LOVE. Check out this verse. Swap the word enemies for sinners.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5.8

God died on the cruel cross to pay the price for the sin we were committing as his enemies. Profound thought, isn’t it? Now that’s a good gift. That’s a bit better gift than a pasta dinner or beautiful sunset, isn’t it? That gift is the best gift ever. I guess Jesus has the right to tell us to love, forgive, and pray for those who hurt us. When we do, we give the best gift ever and we look like the best gift-giver.